Almost Doesn't Count
by lady tecuma
Summary: As he works to cripple KOSMOS, Kevin is overcome with feelings of guilt...Oneshot songfic.


**AN: I do not own the song "Almost Doesn't Count", Brandy does.

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**Almost Doesn't Count**

He was at the end of his rope.

_Almost made you love me  
Almost made you cry  
Almost made you happy, babe  
Didn't I didn't I…_

When it looked like things just couldn't get any worse, they had…

_You almost had me thinkin'  
You were turned around  
But everybody knows  
Almost doesn't count_

He couldn't bear it any more. The secrets, the lies…his poor daughter, his poor angel…this would kill them both. He didn't deserve her love, her compassion…he had betrayed them both, what his master had in mind would destroy them…but then that argument would spin around on it's axis, he was going against his master with these thoughts, he shouldn't be thinking like this…

_Almost heard you saying  
You were finally free  
What was always missing for you, babe  
You'd found it in me  
But you can't get to heaven  
Half off the ground  
Everybody knows  
Almost doesn't count_

Guilt was a living thing, clawing at his insides. He'd lost his cool objectivity, he was too deeply involved. Would it only be a matter of time before Wilhelm ordered Voyager to put him back on track? The thought of what the black-cloaked Testament might do to the both of them made him shudder…but he couldn't go on using her!

_I can't keep on lovin' you  
One foot outside the door  
I hear a funny hesitation  
Of a heart that's never really sure  
Can't keep on tryin'  
If you're looking for more  
Than all that I could give you  
Than what you came here for_

She was too good, too pure for the likes of him…in her presence he felt unclean, ashamed. And just when he thought he could sink no lower…he had.

_Gonna find me somebody  
Not afraid to let go  
Want a no doubt be there kind of man  
You came real close  
But every time you built me up  
You only let me down  
And everybody knows  
Almost doesn't count_

The soft sound of footfalls came from behind him…it was _her…_ Kevin fisted his fingers against the cool glass of the window, staring down at the floor, Connection Gear and it's deadly program forgotten on the table next to him.

"Kevin?" He squeezed his eyes shut at the sound of her voice. Everything inside of him was screaming that he turn around, throw himself at her knees and beg her forgiveness, to confess as how his ancestors had done to the ones they called "priests"…

_I can't keep on lovin' you  
One foot outside the door_

Looking at her now, he was reminded of a very old picture he had seen in a book once...one of a beautiful woman, who had been revered by one of the ancient religions as the mother of God…to them she was considered a saint, pure and blameless…

_I hear a funny hesitation  
Of a heart that's never really sure_

'Madonna', they had called her.

_Can't keep on tryin'  
If you're looking for more_

Could there be no better nickname for Shion? She radiated purity and light, inner serenity…

_Than all that I could give you  
Than what you came here for_

But he couldn't. To expunge the sins of his soul would put her in danger, no, they were too much for her to bear. What he was doing would already break her heart…as for his, he was surprised there was anything left to break, it had been given away, along with his soul to his master…

"I'm fine, Shion. Just…needed a little break, that's all."

_Maybe you'll be sorry  
Maybe you'll be cold  
Maybe you'll come runnin' back, babe  
From the cruel cruel world_

He turned to see a quick smile cross the brunette's face.

"Ah. I was a bit worried something had happened." She said, stepping foward.

_  
Almost convinced me  
You're gonna stick around  
But everybody knows  
Almost doesn't count_

Kevin shook his head.

"No, nothing's happened. By the way, don't you have a meeting with Miyuki now?" Shion gasped, looking down at her watch.

"Oh no, I'm late!" She wailed, turning on her heel and sprinting out of the lab. "Miyuki's gonna kill me!"

_So maybe I'll be here  
Maybe I'll see you around_

As Kevin reached for the Connection Gear, pocketing it and leaving the lab, he didn't notice a pair of red eyes looking out from the shadows…nor a cruel smile cross a pale face.

_That's the way it goes  
Almost doesn't count._


End file.
